you'll have to find out yourselves who you are and if you are on here, i'm not saying
some aren't even on da so
1. okay, i'm sorry about today. i'm sorry our friend came to check on if i was okay. if you are mad at us, be mad at me, not her, it'll be my fault for not sucking it up.
and a small note (i left this for you on facebook): she does not need to be by your side 24/7.
yeah, you used to and probably still do like her, but that does not mean she has to be at your side every fucking second at school.
it's like, the minute someone goes to talk to someone else 'oh i'm alone again' or you think they ditched you or you get pissed.
now guess how i feel all the fucking time.
2. thank you for checking up on me today. i really, really wasn't okay. i didn't tell you completely but now you know why i isolate myself. why i did that today and everything. thanks for being my friend for kinda 3 years. thanks for being there. seriously, thanks.
your the only friend that actually lives here that seems to care.
'i think she's mad.. i told you, you could've gone and hung with _____ (this is the person the first letter is to), if you wanted, i don't want to ruin your friendship or you lose your friendship with her..'
'i'd rather not lose my friendship with you.'
3. i'm sorry. i'm so, so sorry. i know, if i was sorry, i wouldn't have done it.
but still, i'm sorry, i couldn't keep the promise i made to you, about not self harming.
god i feel like your gonna hate or get onto me a lot for this.. (you should know who you are from the promise.. which i broke.. that we made in notes.)
4. okay, i know you are my family and the closest to me in my family, but what you say is starting to hurt. i know your not meaning to, but it's starting to. yeah, sure, i should be happy about what you say but i'm not.
'oh, you'll /make/ beautiful babies when you get older'
'make sure you keep good grades up and not ruin it because of a /guy/.'
'make sure you marry the right /guy/ too and keep some money away just in case.'
it hurts because you are kind of assuming that i'm going to end up with a guy.
how do you know that i will?
what if i end up with a girl?
will you be disappointed?
will you hate me?
sometimes i feel like you don't believe me..
5. you are the most beautiful girl i've ever met. i love you, a lot. people probably give us weird looks outside the computer because we love each other, but i don't give a shit.
i can't wait to hopefully meet you c:
also, i know i shouldn't worry about shit like this, but i don't know, i'm worried still.
you may really love me but jealousy still kicks in sometimes and i'm so insecure about what happened in my last relationship,
i'm afraid you'll leave me for someone else or you are cheating on me. i know, your probably not capable of that, but i'm still scared.
i'm afraid you'll leave me for someone that actually lives near you because you can touch, see, hold them. and other stuff.
i'm sorry i keep worrying about that.
i might update later, i don't know.. whatever.
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Mood:
Miserable -
Listening to: You Done Goofed - BOTD
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Reading: Sarah Dessen Books.
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Watching: ...
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Playing: ...
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Eating: ...
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Drinking: ...